Familiarity Breeds Contempt

 

It is exactly 3 years since we moved into our flat, in Aug 2017.

And I have seen the changes that have happened over all those years. Some good; some not so good and some – sad, and very sad.

When we moved in, we joined a small community of less than 25 families living here. A huge place and just a few of us.All of us had a lot of concerns - how will it work out. And we shared a bit of fear (or anxiety) and a lot of apprehension.

After spending tons of money buying our dream home and another half a ton in furnishing it, we just wanted (and desperately hoped) everything to go right and we were eager to settle down happily (& ever after). So, each one of us did elaborate poojas / housewarming ceremonies and prayed that we had made the right decision in choosing the right society.

 Some of us were the sole occupants in our entire floor and some blocks had less than 6 residents.  There were teething troubles in abundance. Power failures were very frequent and auto switch over to generator was not implemented. We had to wait as long as 5 minutes or more for the resident electrician to manually turn on the gen set. We got stuck in lifts, groped around when the corridor lights did not work and faced unpredictable delivery of milk and paper.

Each day started with a new problem.

 And along with these challenges and our human social nature, circumstances brought us all very close to each other.

And we seemed to have a lot of time.

 I remember walking out of my flat every evening between 5.30 and 6PM, loiter around the campus joining various groups chatting and sharing our experiences well past 7.30 PM.

And we met each mooring as well when some of us assembled at the entry gate to send off our kids to school. And we spent some more time talking.

We had a lot of time!

 The gym was not operational, nor the pool. Nor were there sufficient players for badminton or tennis matches. So, people just came down to talk and socialize!

 We greeted each other cheerfully and went out of the way to help each other. We borrowed and lent work tools, step ladders and loaned our carpenters & electricians to do odd jobs for others.

 When new folks joined, we happily invited them and made them feel comfortable and quickly engaged them in our group.  A new face, a new kid, a new infant in a stroller – and I would enthusiastically approach them with a welcome hand shake, strike up a conversation, where they are  from, where do they work  and offer them any help/advice if they needed. With the kids, it was about their school and what story books and characters they liked. And the infants, I would try and draw their attention and if they did not break into a wail, continue to examine how many teeth they have sprouted.

And my favorites were the senior citizens, the wizened oldies with whom my favorite topic was those good old days!!

 Yes, life then @ Palladian was calm, uncomplicated, and peaceful.

 And as months went into quarters and years passed by, this nice small happy group grew quickly in to bigger and bigger group. Empty flats got filled in fast – with owners and tenants.

People with pets and those without.  Families with kids and parents and live-in maids. And people started hiring an army of helps – drivers, cooks, maids and full-time nannies, to name a few.

 And our society started sprouting creases, blackheads & warts.

 I remember the very first open argument we had was - where the take our pet dogs out to pee & poo.Then came skirmishes between new folks and security and unpleasant arguments with ad hoc MC members.Complaints about people leaving the gym in a bad shape followed.Then people started using the pool as if it was their back yard open air bathtub. They jumped in without proper gear and people posted photos of hairs floating on the blue green waters, along with photos of dog poops and bleached grass patches.

And we had a sharp discord also on tennis coaching and playing timings.

 And somewhere along the way, I also stopped wishing & greeting new faces and did not make that effort to connect with these newcomers. And each time we passed by, we stared at each other in stony silence.Even the kids who 2 years back would cheerfully call out ‘Good Evening Uncle!’ are now grown up and wish me no more and ignore me most times.

Wonder if have grown really that old and totally lost my charm??

 And residents emptied their ashtrays into lower floor balconies and gardens.And used the utility chute as garbage dumps.And they flooded their garden pots kept on window & balcony sills causing muddy water to drip down onto lower floor resident’s freshly washed clothes.

 Frequent pet poops and pee on green grass took our differences and our belligerent attitude to the next level!People attacked each other and some strong words were used.And we had a very ugly incident and some serous fights on the allocation of enough space for a dog park within the Maidan.

 Feeding stray cats stirred a hornet’s nest and kept us busy for some time.And then came barking dogs @ midnight and hot words were again exchanged.

 And soon we all lost patience and consideration for each other, our sense of cooperation and our empathy towards others challenges.

 And the mosquito menace and frequent snakes invading our campus made people even more edgy. MC must take more stringent measures, we demanded vociferously!

 And in the women’s group, people accused each other of maid poaching, offering higher incentives & salaries and rescheduling timings without any consideration to other fellow residents.Garbage disposal became another reason for people to get angry at each other. And the ‘Galeej Gurus’ had the unenviable task of confronting erring residents and having unpleasant and difficult conversations.  Whats App messages were not nice to read in the least.

And I also found out that folks who lived abroad in countries with far stringent garbage disposal norms were the most difficult nuts to crack.

 And despite all such misunderstanding we always managed to execute some very good cultural programs during Onam, Pongal Diwali, Christmas & New Year, Holi and during Republic days and Independent days.

 The Sobha Palladian Management committee got formally elected  and a few new rules ruffled people’s feathers. Work timings of artisans and gate pass issues were main sources of arguments.

 Then the AGM and a special meeting saw the community dive into factions, and we saw some ugly discord.  3BHK vs 4BHK maintenance charges triggered the debate and other hotly argued topics followed.A strong advisory note and an inspection letter to clear the common area of shoe stands, garden pots, bicycles and other odds and ends drew a lot of wrath. I noticed frequent bitching session between people and some irate residents  took to WA to strongly vent out their feelings.

 So, what went wrong with people. They were the same ones with whom we had pleasant conversation, shared food during Onam and Diwali and danced with then during Holi!

Did the devil throw a Hex on us ??

 And slowly, our society was splitting in many ways.

The South Indian maamis made their own group, the middle aged north Indian ladies had their own CUGs, the actively retired folks and some elders ran the MC with an iron hand, the forties folks exerted their defiance, and the kids added to the commotion with their reckless playing.

 And kids caught up with their parents and went one step ahead. Some went physical and one kid even caught the throat of another!

 And very soon we were no longer a happy peaceful bunch.

And people generally started bitching just about everything.

 And then came along COVID 19!

And the lock down and the subsequent phases of ‘lift-ups’ only aggravated the situation and further exposed our underbelly!And people got frustrated sitting in their homes.

And instead of these challenging times uniting people together, it brought out the dark side of our profile.

 It was not nice to see & read Whats App fights between the MC folks and tennis & gym & sports enthusiasts.People openly disobeyed MC guidelines, flouted the social distancing guidelines, played cricket, and challenged the authorities.And the conversations over a torn fence around the tennis court was in bad taste.

 So, what happened to us.Why and when did we drift apart.Why do we escalate every issue into proportions resembling a national calamity?

 Why have we all turned ourselves into clones of Arnab Goswamy??

“Indian wants to know how & why the exit gate got damaged !! Responsibility needs to be fixed!!!”

 And as our PM would say,

Aur mein un tamaam 130 karode deshwasiyon sey pooch tha hoon,” Kya yeh theek hai ki Sobha truck haamaaara saara saamaan, khulley aam uthakar ley jaye??”

 “And I want to reach out to all the 1.3 billion Indians and ask , Is it fair for the Sobha truck to come and take away our possessions in broad daylight ???”

 So, why do we blow our fuse ever so soon and so frequently.

 And since I asked all these questions, I must have an answer too.

 Sure!

It is due the COVID 19.

And China needs to take the entire blame!!

 China must pay!

 MC, please file a FIR and raise a debit note on the Chinese embassy immediately!!!

 Krish..