In a lighter vein, JK?

On a lighter note, May I, Ms Jayanthi Krishnan ?

 

I return from my early morning walk, open our front door to step in.

A commanding voice rings out from some corner of our home where She is dusting..

‘Wipe your shoes properly on the door mat outside!

Stack your shoes in the shoe cabinet,  neatly!!

Peel off your sox and drop them inside the washer!!!’

And I give a silent salute, whisper ‘Yes Ma'am’ and perform all these tasks diligently before I unhook my headphones and switch off my iPod!

Yes, I kow-tow to this supreme being every day and much before I prostrate myself in front of the panel of gods and goddess and offer my morning prayers.

And my short prayer to the Gods happen after a short ritual.

She places a small velli kinnum (silver bowl) of freshly boiled and sweetened milk.

Then She keeps a copper tumbler half-filled with freshly drawn water from our Aquagaurd inside the puja room.

And then I enter the small puja room, perform a quick aarati.

And I thank the Gods & Goddesses for all the good thing they have doen for me , my family, my friends and relatives,  and every one in general (saha kutumbh).

And request him to preserve the status quo.

And this strict regimen we follow every day.

And Yes, our house is run by no one less than  a 5-Star General!!

And many times I wonder if the  CO  (Commanding Officer) & Subedar Major of our NCC camps were this demanding and so particular.

I remember those times (hours) spent in polishing my brass buckles, shining my shoes  to a glassy finish and ironing my clothes to get that knife-edge crease!!  And folding my sheets and blanket and placing them neatly under my pillow and my duffel bag tightly tied and kept on the side.

And cleaning my .22 and later my .303 rifles and lugging them for the inspection & parade.

Inspection happens at home too.  

On days when I dust our bed cover, fluff the pillows and  make our bed, She would keenly scrutinize, align the pillow edges and smooth out the small wrinkles at the corner before giving me a satisfied sign off!

Jayanthi and I come from two different backgrounds (and that is a sober understatement).

I was brought up in a small smelly (every  place,  during those days, smelled of fresh and dried cow dung, horse droppings & wet mud) town in Uttar Pradesh (now UttaraKhand) town.

Dehra Dun or the Doon Valley is situated @  the  foothills of the Himalayas.

And I grew up in that rustic, unsophisticated environment , a raw small town kid who was spoilt for a fight and who could stream out a mouthful of choicest Hindi and Punjabi Gaalis within seconds!

(Punjabi Gaali = a dirty phrase punctuated with one relative and one body part)

And Jayanthi was raised up in a traditional orthodox & conservative Iyengar family from the the well known area, T Nagar in  Chennai.

Her parents ran a boarding school & a coaching center. Her grand father was a member of the Theosophical Society of India, and her dad was an active Lions Club member.

And they lived in the heart of T Nagar, near the famous Pondi Baazar and close to the cultural hub of Vani Mahal  (where they were life members)

And fate bought us together on that memorable Good Friday of 1982!!

Three months later, we got married !

And Jayanthi, aged  19 years & 6 months, moved into our home as a newly wed mattu-ponnu (daughter-in-law)

And, from a sprawling mansion-like house in T Nagar surrounded by huge palm trees and mango trees and tamarind trees, she came into  a two bedroom flat on the second floor of an six  storied building  in Bandra East , Mumbai. Must have been difficult.

It was claustrophobic for me too when we had to move from our modest house in Dehra Dun (with a lawn in the front and a kitchen garden at the back) into this flat.

And to top it all, at that time we had my mom & dad, my dad’s mom, my mom’s dad & mom and my youngest college going sister all in this flat!!!

And very soon my dad and mom left for Bahrain, leaving me & Jayanthi (mostly her as I traveled very often) to take care of the rest of the family.

Since then, but for a few years, we always had some elders staying with us.  My Grand dad and Grand mom for a long time, then her aging dad and mom next  to us and then my dad who moved in with us after my mom died.  And my dad at 90 years stays here with us here mostly.

So she has seen, experienced, endured and managed bravely every possible challenge an elder person can throw at you - be it making food to appease their cravings,  observing the traditional rituals on religious and festival occasion (which invariably involves elaborate cooking and serving many people), taking them to the temples, to visit relatives  and hospitals frequently.

And they can be extremely demanding and She had to  stoically bear up with their tantrums and frequent bursts of anger,  administer medication, clean up the mess they make most times, and much more. And frequently train and manage the frequently changing full time nurses who are so unpredictable.

All said and done..

We have successfully completed 37 years together. (I am also counting in 50% of the time I used to spend travelling during the first 10 years of our marriage, another 25+% over the next 15 years, and an average of 3 days  a week that I spent in Gurgaon for the another  8 years)

And I would not hesitate to claim that we have shared our responsibiolities and burden equally.

Like the house we built in nearby Vinayaka Nagar ..

She approved the blureprint, supervised the construction on a daily basis, stood in the Q for BSSB water  & BESCOM connections and finally fought for the Katha and managed to get it!

And I, very efficiently and periodically, without questioning, signed all the payment cheques right from the initial advance amount up to the final settlement!

Like when we bought this SP apartment.

She came periodically, surveyed the progress and signed the cheques.

And I diligently ensured that she had enough balance in her account!

Like raising our daughter Anusha

She sat with and helped Anusha with her homework most evenings,  complete her weekend assignments and cur pictures from mags, made charts and cardboard models for her summer project work.  

And I taught her  to climb the big slide from the sloping side, ride a  bicycle  and blow a wolf whistle! (wolf-whistle = the technique of placing you right thumb and index finger under your tongue and blow out  a very  loud, sharp and piercing tone). And I even taught her how to modulate it as well.

Like raising our son, Sirish

She would go thru his school dairy every day and help him complete his assignment. When he missed a day, she would call up his classmate’s parents and get an update.

And I diligently typed out his leave letter and signed them . And also his quarterly report card !

And I even bought him Lego. Mechano and Jigsaw sets to sharpen his mind!!

Like shopping @ DMart

She would mentally make up  a list of all things to buy and walk thru the  aisles and pick  up things she wanted. And after checking the expiry date she would then hand them over to me.

And I  followed her closely behind, pushing the huge overloaded cart.

And you know how challenging that could be, especially when you get one of those carts with misaligned wheels that get stuck every now and then. And you have to push them at a specific angle if you want them to go straight!

And I also swiped my card and entered the pin @ the checkout counter!!

And over time, I am glad to say,  we  became specialists at our chosen areas and wonderfully complemented each other..

Even in areas of decision making which could be a highly contentious matter in many house holds.

Not in ours and we rarely have any clash of egos.

I totally support women empowerment…

Hence Jayanthi  takes all the decisions related to our household and connected with our family.

Whether it is  buying this flat or trading-in our car for a new one. Or how much Diwali Bonus to give this year and what should we eat tonight.

And I focus on the broader challenges like Nuclear arms race, Global Warming , World Hunger. And the future  impact of  Artificial Intelligence and Bio-Engineering !

And I also seriously consider all decisions related to the future of Mankind!!

Krish..