89 & Shooting for a Century !!

My Dad has returned from his vacation in Chennai!

Back to Bangalore to enjoy and soak-in the warm mid-day sun during these chilly winter months.

At 89, my dad has Alzheimer’s.

It started 15 years back, before my mom died and it is steadily progressing.

However, he is blissfully unaware, and he will completely deny and vehemently oppose any such mentions. And he is gunning for his maiden century.

Dad suffers from short term memory loss.

Last week-end at the dinner table, I bounced off a question “Who was Muhammad Ali Jinnah??”

Drew a blank from my son and with a shrug he murmured “How do I know” which also meant – don’t bug me, Dad!

My Dad jumped in with an excited – He was the 1^st Governor General of Pakistan!

And turning to my son,  “enna da pillai, idu kooda theriliya??” (you don’t even know this, young man?).  And I get a stony stare from junior.

And the very next moment,

Dad:  did I get sambhar??( Krishna, kozhambu kuttiniyaa?)

And my wife admonishes us all angrily: See, this is what happens when you all talk while eating. You forget everything!

Now, all of you, shut up and eat!!

‘Ellarun, Vaaya moodindu saapidingo!!’

Wonder how you do that?

And can you really get a memory loss if you talk while eating??

Dad was never a doting father who cuddled his babies openly. No PDAs for him.  ( PDA=Public Display of Affection).  I am sure he loves us all – but never showed his emotions openly – that being my mom’s exclusive domain.

Neither did he take too much interest in third party kids. And he absolutely avoided those under warranty (<12 months) hand-held babies.

Those early days were different. Moms had multiple (and in multiples of 2)  kids. And with a rudimentary kitchen and no full-time  domestic help, the kids were left on their own. So, most tiny tots had smudgy faces, drooling mouths and very sticky hands. And that big dark kaajal spot on their cheeks or forehead did precious little to improve their appearances.

Today’s handheld kids are a pleasure to see. Spotlessly clean, brightly dressed, smelling of Johnsons & lavender. You can see scores of them on any weekend at any mall as they proudly ride on their joey seats strapped to their dad/mom shoulders.

Dad has changed. Age has mellowed him so much that nowadays he gets enamored & attracted by each and every handheld model- boy or girl.  Last time in Forum Value mall, he stalled the lift by a couple of minutes before he concluded his conversation with an 8-month old baby. And then he gave some noisy kisses to his fingertips and lovingly traced them over the baby’s shoulders!

The young mom beamed joyously while everyone else had that expression of extreme polite patience - especially those waiting to get in and reach the INOX floor.

Dad is fair skinned, sprightly and well maintained for his age. Looks wise and alert. No one can ever suspect that he has any ailment. No complains of any sickness, absolutely abhors hospitals and sincerely believes that every sickness can be cured with a massive dose of Vitamin C or a tablet of Aspro (brand name for common aspirin)!.

Managing Dad is a challenge.

Morning wake up and he must be guided to the wash room reminding him repeatedly that this is morning and he needs to wash his face and brush his teeth. 

After his 2^nd dose of coffee, a gentle coaxing for his shave. And then pushed in to the bathroom with all the necessary instructions.  Go toilet, have bath, wear new underwear, comb hair, gargle Listerine.

You miss a step and he hangs up (exactly like my MS desktop that will freeze at the slightest error).

With the bath door closed, you have no way of knowing what is happening inside. Invoke task-manager - knock on door, make him open and help him with the rest quickly!

Dad can dose off peacefully in front of the TV all day. No program, whether it be the most irritating (duppan-koothu) Sun Music Channel, or the maniacal laughs of the demons in the mythological serials, however loud and violent, can disturb his peaceful slumber!

When in company Dad is a gentleman. Very courteous and intelligent sounding, no one can ever believe he has any problem whatsoever. When caught with a question he has a stock of diplomatic answers. Enna theriyuma, maama? (remember me, Uncle ??).

Of course, I met you that day! In that function no?

 When Maama?

Some time back or recently - Ippodhaney, konjum naal minnadee!

All absolutely correct replies   - like the MS help desk!

Dad can swim in Tea (pronouncing it CHHAI with a flourish). After every dozing bout in front of TV, he must have a chai.  Right now, he is having his siesta. The moment he wakes up, can you guess what will be his first line??

Krishna, CHHAI !!

While all this reads & sounds so nice, wonderful and exciting, the reality is a very different story!!

And in the Tamil religious circles it is said that folks who take loving care of their parents and elders with honesty can accumulate enough brownie points that they need not take multiple rebirths - to cleanse their souls again and again.  They will attain direct salvation and unite with the lord.

No Punar Janam (ReBirrth)!!

And I am very glad that so many folks in SP will easily qualify for such a direct salvation!

But for me?  NO Way!!

And that’s a conversation I plan to have with my maker when I am up there.

I want to come back here, again and again, and experience all the fun I have missed out in this life! There is still so much action I have not yet seen. One rebirth in each country itself will make it 195+. And my wish list includes being born again as the Sultan of Brunei / a Polynesian tribal chief / The Head priest of Srirangam temple and a sheep farmer in New Zealand!!

Krish..