Sale! Sale!! Sale!!!

The festival season is over.

And all the SALE banners have been removed.

But I am still nursing a huge SALE and shopping hangover!!

My wardrobe is overflowing, and all my hangers are packed with garments draped one on top of the other.

In contrast, my wife’s wardrobe is neat and tidy- with just the right amount and variety of sarees and dresses that she plans to wear for the next two weeks.

This blog is about me and myself and my shopping spree!!

I was always a sucker for a sale! Any Sale!!

In earlier times it was due to sheer necessity. 

You see, I could never afford an Arrow shirt or  Louis Philippe trouser at full retail prices. And those days a sale was genuine and once a year event. And I knew of only 2 factory seconds outlets - one on the Bannergatta road and the other on the Whitefield road in Mahadevapura.

Today I go to a sale as a hobby and to indulge myself!  

And I have an abundance of choice – year long sale in most Malls and Metros, factory outlets in every locality and the huge Brand Factory outlet nearby in Marathahalli.

And my favourite deal – But 2, Get 1 Free offer!!

I think B2G1 offer is a con job and I feel cheated each time. It works like this.

I go in and start selecting.  After much effort of going thru the enormous pile I get the right one – good one with a perfect fit. After another 15 mins. I unearth a second one – not all that great. And now for that third free one I start to lose my patience, so it is a quick grab with much less scrutiny. Both, the size and color/pattern are compromised. Sometimes I even land up taking an atrocious looking piece. Then march to the counter and I pay Rs 2770/- for all the three.

The happiness and satisfaction are momentary. 

After coming home, I realise that I paid Rs.2770 for that one good shirt. The second one, I may wear occasionally and the third, never. So, I actually paid a lot more for that one crumpled well-fitting shirt, when I could have got the same in a brand new condition at any swanky shop in Indira Nagar!

And the shopping experience??

At any sale, I get all excited and pepped up. 

I pick up 2 sample shirts and 2 jeans and head straight for the trial room. Waiting in the Q for 10 mins before I get my turn. Once inside the trail room, I try out the shirts first. Put them on, twist my body and bend sideways, then flex my muscles to check out the ripples on my sleeves. Sadly, there is no hint of a muscle or a ripple anywhere, but you see, my vanity needs to be satisfied.

The jeans go thru a more rigorous acceptance test.

First, I get conscious of the full-length mirror as I undo my pants and hang them on the hook. Wonder who is watching from the other side or is there a hidden camera behind??

Next, I carefully fold the bottom legs of the new jeans and then put them on. Tuck in my shirt and a couple of my fingers in the waist. I need that extra clearance in my waist to accommodate a bulging belly after those frequent Palladian parties!

Then push both my hands into the front pockets to check out the depth and comfort (I usually stand with both my hands in my pant pockets).

Then after a couple of sits ups to feel the fabric, I go for a full squat on the floor. This must be unhindered so that I can comfortably sit thru the top floor mama’s bhajan parties.

Does anyone know when the next one is scheduled? I have a new pair waiting for a test drive!

And in spite such rigorous due diligence I still land up with just one good piece from the lot of three.

So, the best one goes to the wash tub for a good wash (with Dettol).  The other two on top a big pile inside the Godrej. 

I recollect my grand mom saying – Nanna thoikka podu da Krishna, yaar, yaaro,  kandavano pottundiruppan ! (give it a good wash – god knows who all have tried these)

My Patti (grand mom) had a healthy dislike for sale and bargains. She came with me once and returned totally disgusted with the chaos and the musty and sweaty atmosphere inside.

In the early 60’s, for our school vacations we went to Vellore. And each time, Thatha and Patti took us out to buy new clothes. 

Patti was brought up in Binny’s Brand – Binny poplins and Binny prints. And her wardrobe had only Madurai Sungudi and Kancheevarams!

Thatha was a Raymonds Man.  And his Shangu Mark Mayil-kann jarigai  veshti (zari bordered dhoti) came from Chinnaswamy Mudaliar shop that specially imported the fine ettu muzhams (8 yards) from Madurai & Coimbatore.

No SKumars, or Vimals, Nor Mafatlals, Bombay Dyeing, Gwalior Suitings!! And at that time ready-made garments and denims were unheard of.

We chose our pant pieces, shirt pieces and frock pieces.

 If we required only a metre length, they would buy 1.1 or 1.15 metres. To compensate for the shrink and to plan on our growing bodies.

Thatha believed that a pair of baggy full pants would become a set of tight fitting Capris, if not preshrink properly. And to compensate for our ever-growing bodies we landed up with 4 inches below the knee  half pants and frocks with 2 nos. of 2-inch tucks. By the time I grew up taller, the pants would fade so badly and have so many tears that it had to be thrown away. And I got a new set of over-sized ones again!!

Remember that pile of clothes in my Godrej? What happened?

They got gifted!

To our relatives and friends and visitors from outstation.

As per traditional family custom, when visitors leave our house my wife would extend the lady a Kumkum tray and give them beetle leaf with supari, haldi sticks and a blouse bit. And I would hand over a polythene bag with a shirt (guess where it came from) and a Saree. Folks would get overwhelmed with this unexpected gift and would thank us profusely.

Only when they reached home will reality strike the Gent!

 Irrespective of how tall, slim, well built or short, he always got 44 cm collar sized shirt or an XL T-Shirt!  Stripes or bold checks or bright orange with a fancy logo!!

I am very sure that some of the old mamas from Srirangam and Kumbakonam would prefer to go bare body & topless (with only a pair of poonals to protect their modesty) all day, than get caught wearing one of my gifted big-checked Wrangler shirt or multicolour bold striped Ralph Lauren Polos.

But the ladies had no such challenges. And my wife is very conservative in her shopping.

And Sarees come in one standard universal waist size! They can accommodate a wide range – from a slim and dainty 22in waist to an ample & generous 44in and more too!

And speaking of T shirts, I am shocked at today’s generation.  Look at them literally devouring tons of Tee from those jumble sales. Buy2 get 3 free, or a B3G8 combo.

And I am sure someday, the famous baker’s dozen would get reversed. Buy1 get a dozen free!

And have you noticed the printed stuff on them??

Appalling  to be polite. Vulgar to be factual.

Here is an example - You may not believe this.

The Nepali caretaker opposite our house in Vinayaka Nagar wore a hand-me-down FCUK tee-shirt.

It had a big blue Bull grinning at a pink cow.

The caption said , ‘Let’s make steak?’

And despite all the learning and wisdom I have acquired thru my shopping experience, last week I again fell victim to another 'sale' offer.

I wanted to buy just one trouser but landed up with four!! 

You see the offer was just too tempting to resist.

ColorPlus offer – buy for Rs. 5,000/- and get shopping vouchers worth Rs. 7,000/- free.

And now I have a chocolate brown, a beige and a cream chinos (all  36W,44L)   stacked up in my Godrej !!

Krish..