I started
this post last Good Friday, 19th April, and finally managed to
complete it now!
Every year,
on Good Friday, Jayanthi and I recollect the historic event of that day and have a hearty laugh !
That Good
Friday in the year 1982 was the day we both met each other for the first time .
And if you
expect that to be a wonderful romantic day
, forget it!!
Sadly, there
was was nothing remotely exciting or romantic about it at all !
For a
starter,
Jayanthi did
not drop her load of books, and I did not kneel down to pick them up…
And I did
not look up at her face, and she did not look down into my eyes..
And Cupid
did not fire all his arrows in a frenzy
..
Nothing of
that sort ever happened that day.
And,
Nor did my
hiking backpack (with 5 pouches and equal number of buckles and sashes ) get
entangled with Jayanthi’s bulky handbag ( with half a dozen zips and equal
number of fancy tassels ) as we struggle to take them out of the overhead cabin
baggage compartment.
Nor did
Cupid play his match making trick by
putting our check-in baggage at the very end of the line so that only the two
of us waited patiently at the baggage claim
carousel.
Nor did we
strike up a conversation,
Nor did
sparks fly and nor did it create a roaring flame of love !!
Sorry, None
of that happened !!
And neither
did any of those 100 +1 romantic scenes
that you always see in a Hindi or a Tamil movie when the boy meet the girl for
the first time!!
Our love
story was not scripted by any of those famous Bollywood bigwigs.
And if you
still want to know what happened on that day that year, you have to read thru
this entire blog !! No short cuts !!
November,
1981. My second sister got married.
And dad and
mom breathed a big sigh of relief -two
daughters married off, and just one more to go. And they were not bothered
about me at all. You see my marriage would not result in another negative
cash flow !
Come
February, 1982, my parents discovered I was very friendly with a girl in my
office . She had visited our house a couple of times and they knew her.
But she was
not from a South Indian Iyengar family.
We enjoyed a
strong friendship that was born out of mutual trust and respect for each other,
and ofcourse, two years of working together in the same office. We shared our
workload whenever possible and helped each other out when our bosses gave us
tight deadlines..
And many
times when we worked late, I would drop her off at her home. And it was only during those times when we talked
anything personal or shared notes on our families.
And we
exchanged gifts – I would give her home-made sweets and chocolates on Diwali
and on her birthdays; and she would give
me Easter eggs, Marzipan and Plum cakes on Easter and Christmas !
And I would
buy her trinkets and chocolates and
perfumes during my frequent travels.
And one such
time I bought her a bunch of bright Gold and Silver painted wood roses from Kaveri Emporium, Bangalore.
And my dad
got concerned (mighty worried is a better expression) .
And while he
could convincingly argue that there is nothing wrong in a South Indian brahmin
girl marrying a Punjabi boy, or a Bengali or a Christian boy for that matter,
when it came to his own son, it was ‘family values and duty towards our
religion & faith‘ that could never
be compromised !!
And so he
went into an overdrive – to find a
suitable South Indian brahmin girl for me and get me married off before I could
get any serious ideas.
In 1982,
there was no bharatmartrimony.com or Shaadi.com. All matchmaking was done thru
a network of relatives and Vaadiyaars (Priests) and Parijaarans (cooks). In the
North it was the local Nayee (barber)
who specialized in this activity. The only other option was “Brides wanted” section in The Hindu.
Soon a
barrage of envelopes with corners tipped
with turmeric paste started filling our mail box each day. And for the next few
Saturdays Dad and mom paid regular
visits to the astrologer in Matunga Circle in Mumbai, matching horoscopes and
shortlisting prospective options.
And they
finalized on 4 ‘eligible candidates’ from Chennai.
Four perfectly matched horoscopes !!
And very
soon I found myself travelling by Madras Mail to Chennai along with Dad and
Mom.
Day 1: Arrive in Chennai. Rest a bit. Have bath, Eat
and freshen up for the first prospective girl’s house.
Pile into
the old beaten second hand Standard- Herald car that my Brother in law had.
With dad in front and me squeezed between my mom and my sis in the
back seat.
And soon we
driving back home.
‘Will not be
suitable for our Krish’ – dad said finally. Very thin and looks anorexic was
his assessment. Mom agreed and my sis
and BIL nodded in agreement. And I am sure the girl’s side would also have
found something unacceptable about me as well.
Was I
consulted ? No way !!
One down ,
three to go . And I was hopeful.
Day 2 -
Second girl : Tall and very smart looking. Instead of making a grand appearance
in a traditional silk saree and other
paraphernalia, she wore a plain but
elegant chiffon saree. And she just walked up along with her dad to the
entrance and greeted us in and introduced herself. And she struck up a good
conversation with all of us.
I thought
that was very cool !
But to my
parents – that was not cool at all.
And did they
ask my opinion? No way !!
And so went
the other two prospects as well.
Last day and
we had to catch our train at 10 PM in the night .
Dad an mom
got desperate and went thru the pile of left over horoscopes and came up with
one that was not a perfect match and our astrologer had not recommended. However my BIL
phoned the family and got us invited .
And at 2 PM,
we were at the girl’s place.
A huge hall
filled with people everywhere !
There was
the girl’s dad, mom and her two elder brothers.
And her uncle and his wife and his daughters and their husbands. And another uncle and his family and her
grand mom too.
Only five us
from our side, we were totally outnumbered by this show of
strength.
I sat in one
corner of the large hall and Jayanthi sat diagonally opposite some 25 - 30 feet
away flanked by her brother and her uncle .
And everybody was talking,
identifying common friends, relatives and native places etc.
Suddenly a
large silver tumbler with piping hot coffee was thrust into my hands. (I am
used to sipping coffee gently from a large ceramic mug with a big handle). So the rest of my entire time was spent in gingerly
holding the tumbler by it rim, furiously blowing into the coffee and carefully
managing to pour a few drops every now and then into my mouth from a height of
2 inches.
And by the
time I finished my coffee, the meeting was over and we were saying good byes.
We did not
even see each other properly and
obviously never got a chance to talk either.
And
interestingly as I was walking back to our car ..
“ Pillai ku
kaal seria irukka paaru da, Kanna “ her
grand mom whispered to her dad. ( my mom
walked with a pronounced limp, and she thought that could be genetic. Smart thinking, old girl !!)
And while we
were driving home dad and mom were talking about fixing the marriage date !
Was I
consulted ?? No way !
And that was
it !
It was 25
minutes in a large room packed with people and the two of us sitting 25 feet
apart.
And our fate was sealed, then and there !
And the next
time we met, we were sitting together, in front of a very smoky fire at our marriage ceremony early morning at 4.30 AM !
And it has been
37 years since that day and we are still going strong – in spite of all the mismatches in our horoscopes !
Krish..
