The Last Scene!!

All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;

-        Shakespeare in ‘As You Like it’

ACT – 1

God gave us life.

And HE pretty much, let us decide how we run our lives.

So, it’s our show – our script, our direction, our dialog, our song and dance sequences, our happy and sad scenes, we create heroes and villains and we make our own real-life movie!

However, and

But,

HE decides the last & final scene!!

We have zero control on our very last scene – when it will come, where will it come and how will it come.

That’s real mean of HIM!

Ask any movie maker to make a movie and tell him that the end scene/ grand finale scene will be decided by you – when, where and how. And he would politely ask you to go climb a tree and jump!

But in real life we are totally helpless. We make our life-time movie and GOD decides the ending. And he could be very very unpredictable. 

He could switch you off anytime, anywhere – at your peak action phase, in the midst of your beautiful love story, during your sad scenes or just let you go on and on until you yourself die of accumulated pain & boredom!

And sometimes even after you have exhausted all your scripts and all your dramatics and everything you wished to tell the world, he will continue to keep you hanging on stage, much to the inconvenience & irritation and anger of all other stage players!

And that is NOT done!!

So I wish to send a petition to HIM :

Let us choose our final scene.

We have a right.

We have worked our entire life for it!!

And let’s assume HE says OK – then what??

ACT  - 2

Ask folks at random, how they wish to die, and you might get some of these answers…

-        Peacefully while I am sleeping

-        Like this (snap of a finger), just pop off

-        Instantly in a plane crash or auto crash. (train crash is not a preferred option)

-        Die together – holding hands and quickly.

-        Other causes like bullets / knives/ earthquakes/ floods/ sharks & crocs come far far behind!

And please note none of them want those complicated hospital scenes, home scenes where you lie emaciated on your death bed with your entire family crowded all around you.

All of these routes – such an anti-climax to a wonderful life journey!

Imagine the hero, after fighting all the villains and rescuing his true love, goes to his bed room, switches off his light, to go to sleep.

What do you expect next?

Definitely you do not want him to die peacefully and start rolling the credits on screen ??  That would never hit the box office charts.

So, you must plan something dramatic!

Your last scene must be as interesting and compelling as your entire life. It must deliver the Big Bangs and those wonderful WOWs that have been regularly punctuating your entire life!!!

Here is one suggestion..

ACT – 3

Plan a 5-day sequence.

You need that much time to set up the situation, draw the mood, get all the audience involved, build the suspense, choreograph the various expressions of all friends & family members and all the other minor details before leading up to the final shot!!

Celebrate your last birthday in style.

You must be hale and hearty - full of zest / pop and fizz. A couple of shots of you grabbing the last piece of pizza from your granddaughter at Dominos and a smoothie slurping match with your great grand son in Mc Donald will be great!

Day – 1 Complain of chest pain, visit local doc and get the pills.  Whole day & night get restless.

Day – 2 Morning, start sweating and make those strange noises. Family takes you seriously and your local doc panics. Ambulance is ordered, and you ride to the hospital in style – with siren blaring and the ambulance driving like crazy.

Express admission - Straight to OPD and then into ICU. And back into the special ward.

You get the royal treatment. The works.

Patient monitoring systems, Drips, oxygen mask, catheter, pulse monitor clip etc, etc.  

And a standby defib as well to jolt you back to your senses!

Day – 3 Try one full dress rehearsal. 

Pop off for a couple of minutes and watch the action. Nurses scampering all over, doctors called immediately, emergency declared, wheeled to the operation theater, 2-hour suspense for the entire family. Full day in ICU – no visitors.

By now, news gets flashed everywhere, WhatsApp group created to give regular updates on your health. Lots of phone calls and discussions. People living outstation put on alert. People come to your home and talk in hushed voices .

Day - 4 Back to your ward. 

Large number of visitors.  You are groggy with so much sedation that you can only mange a stupid smile and some finger movement. But you are the star now. 

3 days in the hospital and you are a changed person. You are no longer referred by your name tag but by your defective organs!

His weak heart / his defective kidneys / his collapsed lungs / his infected liver and so on … and the 3 times a day conferences with the doctors focus on these intensely.

You are not yet dead, but you have already become ‘such a nice person’.

You get prime time in all conversations – over cell/ WhatsApp/ skype/ facetime and ISD calls!

Discussion groups are formed to debate on your innards. Which hospital is best for what / great docs / how other relatives died of similar organ failures and cancer!

Coma gets discussed in great length and the legality and ethics of euthanasia is hotly debated as well! Unfortunately, no one talks of organ donation.

Many starts extolling your virtues ‘wonderful human being’ and some examine your failings – ‘he never took his diabetes seriously’, ‘you know he was a chain smoker in college and also did drugs??’ And so on…

Visiting Hours - your bed is surrounded with people with anxious faces and little kids who are persuaded by their moms to hold your finger – possible some wisdom may get transmitted this way??

And all of a sudden one small voice asks that inevitable question – ‘when will thatha die??’. The scandalized mom bursts into tears. You murmur - Bet everyone has this on their minds but were only afraid to ask!

Great scenes to watch – so much drama, suspense, nail biting anxiety. Discussion on your will and wealth and ‘what next’ scenes follow.

Folks from outstations & overseas arrive – not sure why. You wish they had come when you were in great health and could enjoy their company properly.

Day -5 Final Day.

You had your 100+ hours of fame and glory. 

That’s 6000 minutes of air time  ( at a Concessional Rates at Rs 50K per minute on prime time national news channels, you are colossally rich!).

Satisfied?  Time to log off!!

You check out the weather report – predicts bright, pleasant and shining day.

You do a bit of astral travel outside to check out if the weather man is accurate in his prediction.

Then wait for the morning shift change. Folks from home come to relieve folks standing guard here last night. You have a basic quorum now.

Take a deep breath and move on.

A morning start is always recommended.

It’s a long way up there and the climb is very steep, I am told.

You should be able to check in at the pearly gates by tea time and have a comprehensive de-brief session with your maker immediately.

Then after a quick shower and freshen up, you should be in time for the welcome dinner arranged by some of your older friends and colleagues who are eagerly waiting for you to join them in their bridge game!

And what happens down here?

Perhaps some other time, another day??

Krish..

The Guard

He stands all alone in the middle of the night.

He has drawn the graveyard shift.

 A young lad of 20 years, fair skinned from east or north-east India , a grey and blue uniform with a broad belt, black boots and a 4 ft  ‘lathi’ to protect himself and the whole society ! and protect all of us from thieves and robbers, rodents and snakes. And ghosts and vampires as well.

 His beat is from STP to Children’s play area and his home base - the small patch of grass in front of the DG sets!

Has anyone seen him? Not sure, but many  would have noticed a thin, five and a half feet apparition blending amongst the half grown trees and full grown bushes in front of flat 4005.

Question: If I were to command you to stand from 8 in the night to 8 the morning, all alone, without your smart phone, without your iPod, and even without a torch in this area, how would you feel? 

And if you had to do this 7 days at a stretch in December or in May, guess what will become of you  ??

Folks, that is the life of Sobha Palladian security guards !!

The fresh recruits directly imported from Orissa and Assam are given basic training and put into shifts on rotation. The grave yard shifts near the STP - the toughest spot with no proper lighting and shelter. 

And they brave the foul weather, the sweltering summer heat, the chilly winter winds, the gloomy monsoon drizzle or just pitch dark moonless ghostly Amavasya nights !! 

And they have to stand all alone gazing at the darkness.

Recently during one of my morning walks I directly approached this lonesome chap at the STP area. He is sitting on a cement bench, and as he sees me, he quickly stands up shuffling his feet. A mixture of confusion spreads over his face - should he salute? or say a greeting??  or stand in attention? or just turn around and scram?? 

But for now he just stands still with a perplexed expression – like a nilgai hit by a powerful search light beam in the middle of the night !

And as I get nearer, I smile, wave my hand and brightly say Good morning , Namashkaar !  He visibly relaxes and mumbles something.

Kaisey Ho ??  Kuch chai vaghera piya ??  Shift kab khatam ho raha hai ??

And the next day as I walk around the bend, he jumps up to full attention and smartly salutes me,  ‘Good Moring Sir ‘  with a bright smile !!

And that made my day!!

Krish..

My Life in a glider !!

Back then, I wore expensive watches,

But I had precious little time!

    Now I wear no watch at all,

    Bur I have an abundance of time!!

Thirty-six years! From August 1978 to October 2014.

Yes. All of thirty-six years I have spent running & chasing.

Running campaigns, chasing targets.

Dashing in and out of airports, catching red-eye flights, zipping thru cities in Hertz or Hired cabs.

Obsessed with numbers – Top-line $$, bottom line %%, market share, sequential growth and Y-o-Y growth and what-nots.  And headcounts and attrition. Negotiating numbers with clients, customers and channel partners. With bosses, with world-wide teams and even with my own team members!! And of-course with the agencies, the media buying houses and outsourced 3rd party teams!

Call it whatever you may – Rat-race, Drag-race, Le Mans or just a slugging match - I have been thru them all.

And I have successfully come out of them all, badly bruised and sometimes barely breathing – but definitely alive!

My life has been on the fast track.  A fast track - much like those of the Mumbai suburban trains!  With the VT to Virar and the Borivili to Bombay Central fast locals running all over me!!

Now I am retired.

Time is mine! And more importantly, I am the boss of my time!!

And I have calibrated my time scale to slow motion settings.

Turned the knob from 32X fast forward mode to frame by frame slow motion replay settings!

And how do I feel?

Initially like a MIG-29 fighter jet pilot steering a hot air balloon.

And now – My life is on a glider, catching the slow thermals and taking those lazy turns, not far away from the ground.

My pace has slowed down.

My ring tone is mellow. My phone calls are few; those  that I dial out and a few from those sweet voices that are trying to sell me a membership to a gourmet club , or a holiday package to some exotic destination or a plain and simple pre-approved home loan.

I still wake up at 5.30AM.

But, I do not jump for my smart phone.

No WhatsApp, no SMS and no e-mail checking.

My major activity in the morning , after a walk, is a leisurely Chai sipping session in my small garden, watching school children rushing to catch their bus . Sometimes involving the whole family – with the dad running ahead to stall the bus, the kid running behind and followed by the poor mom carrying the school bag and the tiffin box! 

and as I water the plants, I am cheerfully greeted by a fresh batch of schoolkids and their parent or grandparents. This time there is no rush.

My walking has switched to a slow stroll, with unhurried measured steps to soak in the warm autumn sunshine  or to feel the tiny droplet of sweat tricking down my spine in peak summer, or to enjoy the light drizzle sprinkle all over my face or to  feel the chilly wind numb my earlobes or to  savour the ‘green’ scent of freshly cut grass !

I have all the time in the world to talk to the security guards, enquire about their families, walk all the way up to the Capital Hypermarket to buy bread and again, a second time in the day to buy milk.

I have realized rather late in life .

You do not have to be the fastest to win the race

You do not have to be stressed to meet deadlines

You do not have to slog 18 hrs a day to be successful.

And remember you are only paid for 8 hours/day for honest work !! Utilise these efficiently.

And you need 8 hours of good sleep.

The remaining 8 hrs stretch them out.

Yes, stretch them out - slowly and relish each second of it – with your family, parents, friends and everyone else you meet each day!

Good Luck & Godspeed!!

Krish..

Dasvidanya !!

After watching a few Tamil and Hindi movies, and ‘Kaala’ recently on Amazon Prime, I had to detox myself!

So I went back to my archive of sensible movies and randomly picked one – Dasvidanya !

Dasvidanya = Good Bye in Russian.

Wonder how many have watched this 10 year old, low budget film starring old timers Vinay Pathak and Neha Dhupia (does anyone recollect these names at all ?? )

No great songs!  No super Hero! No startling Heroine! No torrid love scenes! No action-packed car chase and crash shots! No gory fight scenes!  No complicated plot!  No fancy location shootings!  No emotional family drama – meaning No SSB !

SSB = Super-Sentimental Bullshit!!

And yet without these extremely essential Indian masala powders, Dasvidanya still had a wonderful flavour and a refreshing taste!

First time I watched Dasvidanya – it was around midnight, all alone, in my hotel room in Gurgaon.

I put it on ‘Must Watch’  list – for all those who can appreciate good sensitive acting, sober meaningful dialogs, polished humour, and can share a certain amount of empathy and anguish!

The Hero (anti-hero actually), Amal Kaul (played by Vinay Pathak) is a typical middle-aged bachelor living with his mom in a middle-class apartment. His whole life goes totally awry as he gets pushed around like a driftwood – squeezed into taxis, bullied by his boss, nagged by his mom, while his whole life is virtually dictated by his yellow sheet “to-do’ list! And things only get worse when he is diagnosed for stomach cancer and he gets only 3 months to live.

 And then his alter ego takes over and transforms him into someone he always wanted to be.

And his drab ‘to-do‘ list takes on a new and exciting ‘bucket list’ avatar!

Some beautiful moments are captured when

-        -  He finally gathers enough courage & proclaims his love to his childhood friend (played by Neha Dhupia) in pouring rain – and by dumb charades!!

-        -  He breaks down, all alone in a foreign country trying to jump over a bridge.

-        -  His short relationship with a Russian stranger blossom in 3 days.

-        -  He sings a song for this mother along with his brother.

-        -  He buys his new car and gives a ride to the sales girl.

-        -  And of course, the way he makes his list.

-        And the final scene!!!

Amazing expressions, superb acting, brilliant direction & excellent supporting roles. Very rare to see all these coning together & well-coordinated in one Hindi movie!

Obviously, I am bowled over.

And please do not believe if anyone says Dasvidanya is a copy of ‘Bucket List’ (Morgan Freeman & Jack Nicholson). Except for the list, there is very little in common.

And this movie is far better and more beautiful to watch.

And the best way to watch?

All alone in the middle of the night!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-vXPjGj6diU

Enjoy maadi.

Krish..

The Bygone Bangalore

Once upon a time, long long ago.....

Bangalore was the undisputed and unchallenged honey-moon capital of the South. That was before we discovered Bangkok and Bintan and  Bentota.

You got married anywhere in the south and the only place you wished to go was Bangalore .  Sometimes immediately, and sometimes after the mandatory visits to the many temples of Tirumala or Guruvayoor or Murudeshwar or Madurai, Trichy or Tanjavur.

North of the Vindhyas boasted of Shimla, Kashmir, Darjeeling and Kulu-Manali, but the south had the one and only Bangalore. Even newly weds from Bombay & Pune rediscovered themselves in our wonderful Bangalore !!

And why not ?

A wonderful chill weather throughout the year : encouraging closer cuddles and tighter huddles.

The majestic Majestic : Movie halls every 5 metres. Motels and restaurants for every pocket. From Rs 40/- for a double deluxe to a hundred for a honey-moon suite !!

Honest Autorikshaws:  who would return your 2 rupes 20 paise change without a prompt or polite reminder.

Luxurious Lal Bagh: with sprawling lawns and cast iron benches under shady trees for the newly wed love-birds to roost.

Brigade road for the hepp ones :  lined up with pubs,  and live bands belting out BeeGees, La Macarena & Tequila !!

And Shopping ? Can start right after you come out of the station on those raised foot paths. Nepali women selling warm clothes for those who came unprepared for the chill . 

Blue pullovers for the boy , and embroidered  maroon cardigans for the girl. And checked mufflers and those once ubiquitous brown Korangu-kulla ( monkey cap - Indian version of ski-mask ) that you don’t see no more !

Wide roads to walk freely and no Sri Rama Sene to interrupt your PDAs. ( PDA = Public Display of Affection )

No long Qs at MTR and  an always available  cozy corner to nurse your  piping hot coffee at the  India Coffee House  on MG road and a relaxing book browsing session at Ganga Rams  on the second floor !

Those days, Bangalore life was wonderful

Indranagar to Majestic in 13 minutes flat !  

Fill up your car tank under  Rs 300/-

Full meals in Woodlands at 25/- coconut water, cane juice, coffee  at 5/- and a bowl of warm Basundi for Rs10/-..

Yes, Bangalore was a dream come true.

That fresh air & that morning dew ..

Now, Bangalore, what happened to you ??

Krish..

A Wonderful Family!!

He is one of the five Pancha-Pandavas.

He married Lord Krishna’s childhood sweetheart. Not Lord Krishna’s younger sister, Subhadra, please note.

His first son is the morning glory and his second son is the eternal book of knowledge.

So, there you have the entire family from the great Indian Epic era!

And they returned from their self-imposed exile in the US, back to their sacred land, India,  to lead a life of peace & serenity and to grow their own bananas in their 4^th storey mansion!

Now you know who I am talking about.

He drives his own vehicle. No Parthasarathy for him. In the Mahabharata his chariot, which was gifted to him by fire god Agni, was drawn by 4 horses, which is no match for his modern 3 litre turbocharged, V6 powered Japanese make monster.

True to his epic avatar, Arjun is well built, strong and muscular. And ever ready to fight a good and just battle. He is the chief implementor at the MC and is always available to address any injustice in Sobha Palladian. Radhika has not changed much since those historic days except she does not wear those fancy-dress period-costumes any more. 

And she dances well, making those wonderful twirls just like the way she would do in those good old days on the lush green meadows of Vrindavan!

And during last year Halloween they both made a mean pair – Arjun with his roughed-up looks and tattoo on his biceps and Radhika with her painted face and a fluorescent purple and red colored wig! 

My elder granddaughter was so fascinated that came and asked me excitedly ‘ andha akka ku nejum thala maiyru aa ?’ – is that real hair on elder sisiter? Maybe she will sport one when she grows up .

And history runs in their family. 

As recently as the last Independence Day, both their sons were involved in India’s freedom struggle. While the elder son spearheaded the armed struggle for independence the younger one was fighting a political battle against the British!

The two sons were born in exile.  

When they grow up they can choose their nationality. Either retain their foreign one by birth or switch to Indian by choice.

And when that time comes, I bet the decision could be a no-brainer!

India would, by then, be the second most powerful country – most powerful manpower wise and second most powerful in economy and GDP terms. The US, European countries and Canada &  the OZ will be left far far behind.

Yes, the golden days will soon return. Like the song sung by our ladies at the I-Day 

Woh din hai kitna doooor

When all our dreams will come true.

And if I may add one more verse ..

Who din hai kitna doooor

When bright kids all over the world will march into India for their higher education and post Grads and for a bright future in this promised land. And to marry Indian partners, get citizenship and settle down too.

And if Salil Choudhury can have his dreams, why not Martin Luther King ?? He too has his dreams.

And it may as well go like this now..

I have a dream!!

I have a dream.

That every young expectant mother in the US,

whether black or white, 

will line up for an Indian Visa to give their new-borns a wonderful place to live and prosper.

I have a dream…

That one brown Indian lad will walk this world, along with a white US girl, holding her hand and confidently leading her to a bright future!

And I am sure I live until that day to watch!!

Jai Hind!!

Krish..

Three Residents!!

Duke is tough! 

Built stocky and packed solid, he looks like a battering ram. A pudgy ferocious face that could be easily be mistaken for a tiger cub without stripes.

Beneath this fierce look, Duke has a soft nature and a softer personality.  No one has ever heard Duke bark. His low toned grrrs  is non-threatening. Me think he is just clearing his throat now and then.

Duke is a perfect gentleman. 

He never interferes in any conversation, politely sitting at the parties, keenly watching everyone with an innocent look and making perfect eye contact with his bright marble sized eyes. Absolutely well behaved and no embarrassing PDAs either!

And he is absolutely at peace with the world - eat, rest and sleep on his circular shaped padded couch. No long walks No jogs No fetch-the-ball (if the master wants to chase the ball, be my guest!) and absolutely No chasing behind scared children!

The only times I see Duke exerting himself is when he is briskly walking out early mornings to perform some important functions and rushing back with a hungry stomach to catch is breakfast.

On the first day of occupying our new flat, we had performed pujas and were winding up when Duke marched in smartly.  Inspected all of us and our guests closely. Surveyed and checked out every room, bath room, kitchen and the utility area. And then with a satisfied nod marched back across the foyer to 2002.

Yes, we had successfully met Duke Stage IV standards for non-troubling & non-interfering residents and certified as good cooperating neighbours!

Zoey loves Duke! 

Every time she happily approaches him, he shies away quickly. You see Duke is a pucca South Indian. Having been raised in a very conservative family he is not used to the present days PDAs. 

Zoey on the other hand is the typical modern-day millennium girl. Nearing 5, she has a perfect figure, fashionably groomed in a beautiful fawn coat and a smart regal walk in her white soxed paws.  

Unlike Duke, Zoey is an out and out outdoor girl with the well-toned muscles of a professional athlete. And she can easily win a beauty contest any-day too.

I would not be surprised if Zoey is a Bombay girl.  

Smart and gregarious, she loves company and is eager to make friends – so unlike Delhi girls (so snobbish), Chennai girls (so conservatively shy) and the Bangalore ones - aloof, at best. You can spot the Bangalore ones miles away, dog tag around their necks announcing their international owners (Deloitte, CGI, Reuters, etc.) with their eyes riveted to their eye-phones - no kidding. There is more action for the eyes nowadays than for the phone sub assembly!

Zoey has perfect manners. 

Her pace is perfectly timed with her master’s gait, the right amount of slack on the leash and a proud upturned nose. Never have I seen her pull her leash or try to drag her little masters. And never ever has Zoey tried to stray near a bush as most others do to sneak a pee. 

Bhageera is the baby of the family!  

Do not get surprised. This special baby comes in a 25inch tall 25 pounds jet black package and can deliver a 2 kilo-ton TNT sized bark!

Over the last 8 months I have seen Bhageera grow rapidly – from a clumsy tail wagging pup to a strong handsome lad.  He is still childish and happy go lucky, blissfully unaware of his big formidable size and his fiercely wagging tail.

Early mornings, I see Bhageera dragging his still groggy master enthusiastically to watch the beautiful morning sunrise and enjoy the classic Bangalore morning chill. While returning he must inspect, both visually and with his nose, each and every bush and tees lining the front pathway. Sometimes a quick inspection walks around the building in also conducted. 

And I can make out that Bhageera has learnt this lesson well- no more does the little lady carry a water bottle behind him anymore!

In a group Bhageera can get really excited, rushing at people and tugging on his leash.  I am still scared when the jet black well-muscled well-meaning friend rolls near me.

Now for some formal introductions …

Duke is the popular Pug in 2002. 

He comes from an illustrious family of actors and performers. His grand dad was India’s most adored and the iconic TV Star of the world-famous Vodafone serial. Incidentally his grand mom won the Golden Globe award for her performance in the well-known glass-licking screen saver program in the e-films category. Google for ‘30 incredible pug videos’ and you can watch his entire clan in action!

Zoey is that graceful young beauty of a Boxer in 4065.

Originally of a German descent, she can also trace her roots to the English Bulldog  family– so famous for their peaceful nature and love for kids. Her ancestors came along with the British and decided to settle here.

Zoey is an active member of the Kennel club of India and she regularly takes part in speciality shows held regularly in Bangalore Goa and Mumbai. She also loves to socialise and party hard and can clean wipe a 1 litre vanilla ice cream tub in one-minute flat!

Bhageera hails for the genetic line of the formidable black panther family that rule the foothills of the Himalayas. 

Legend has it that Lord Bhageerath, who was the eldest son of the local deity, was dispatched from the heavens in the form of a black panther to protect the hilly regions of Kumaon from man eating tigers. And our little one inherits that famous name, as well as the sleek jet black form from that great panther king!

And if you concentrate carefully, every time when Bhageera barks, you can clearly hear the echoes from the thick forested hills and the deep gorges of the Kumaon valley!

Krish..

Ps:  PDA = Public Display of Affection.

We @ Sobha Palladian !!

This short piece is dedicated to all folks in Sobha Palladian who love Asterix Comix!

We are a small group of 100 families residing in a quaint community in the midst of bustling Marathahalli, Bangalore. We are a peace loving, eco-friendly, honest tax paying and God-fearing citizens.

We work hard, play hard & drink hard!

Not unlike the famous Gauls in the Gaulish village in the middle of the Roan empire. 

Our Palladian is built on the similar lines as the Greek and Roman temples with symmetric architecture, white stone benches, marble floors, granite sidings with fountains and waterbodies, paved pathways and wide spaces for our elders to meet and discuss. We also hold open air Durbars from time to time.

And in many ways, we resemble those indomitable Gauls too. We have our own popular Chief, and a few others who can easily pass off as Fulliautomatix.  You can spot a few Obelix, and for every problem raised on the WhatsApp group there are a few Getafix who can give instant Fixes!

Geriairx ?  We have in great numbers, including my dad at 89. You can see them in the evenings. At times, this place looks like a super luxury old age home!

And how about Impedimenta, Bacteria & Amnesia??

We can boast of better ladies than the Gauls!  They come in all sizes and shapes each one more eye catching than the other! You should have seen them at the last Sunday ONAM celebrations.

WOW!!

And you better be careful and watch your step while roaming around  here. You can easily get distracted, trip over the fountain edge and land up in the drink. Just like the way Duryodhana walked into water while gawking at Draupadi!

And we men are very possessive about our ladies! Mind it !!

Other characters? 

Of course, there are many more!

But I refuse to risk my life and my peaceful life @ Palladian!

Krish..    

 

Onam Sadhya @ Sobha Palladian!

Sadhya = Feast/ Banquet

Onam Sadhya – A feast celebrated in honor of King Mahabali who visits us once a year during ONAM.

At Sobha Palladian we celebrated ONAM today, a week later than the actual ONAM date.

The traditional Poo Kolam and Thiruvathira Kali, was followed by the famous and most awaited Sadhya!

 Sadhya is an elaborate vegetarian feast consisting of a multi-course meal with 15++ dishes.  Traditionally folks squat on the floor cross-legged (sukhasana) and eat from a banana leaf on which the servings are made.

Here at SP we sat on our clubhouse steel and ply-wood chairs and metal table covered with white paper. The Banana leaf was placed in front of us. A 2 sq.ft of green real-estate that was all the cutlery needed for this elaborate feast – no dinner plates, no quarter plates, no soup bowls / saucers/ side plates/ katoris/ spoons/ forks/ knives. A paper cup each for water and payasams. Ashtey!!

And you can hear the great King Mahabali say “ use your God given hands, my son!”

So, you can well imagine the challenge one has to tackle while eating this multi-course 15++ dish elaborate spread! All piled-on to a less than 2 sq. Ft space. Where do you start and what is the sequence of eating .

Now compare that to a gourmet dinner in any fancy restaurant sitting on comfortable soft padded chairs and enjoying a meal leisurely over 90 minutes!

Sadhya is very different from a western 5-course meal. The western food is served with a wide paraphernalia of dishes and exotic cutlery. A lot of attention is given to presentation, layout and packaging the food in various serving containers and it is done in a fancy flourish by highly paid waiters and chefs.

Sadhya has no such pretentions. A wonderful and delicious array of freshly prepared food served on a banana leaf in a plain and simple no-nonsense manner. No unwanted stuff. Everything is eaten except the B-leaf. The food speaks for itself. You do not need marketing or any presentation to support.

Just food, food and just food! Sit, eat & enjoy madi!

To highlight the stark contrast between the two, here is a typical gourmet dining scenario ..

You are guided to a pre-set table. A big stoneware plate in front of you and an assortment of forks, knives and spoons laid out on both sides of the plate, a wine glass and a water glass on the other side.  

And you must pick up the cutlery that is farthest from the plate first and then move inwards as the meal progresses

The plate is not what you eat on. It is kept there to prevent you from doodling on the white table cloth. And you DO NOT pick up the knife and play sword fighting with the person sitting in front or the guy next to you.

Soon the heavy plate is removed.  First time folks might wonder.  And those from Madras may exclaim – idhu enna, Kai – endhi bhavan style aah??(meaning extended-hand format eat out??)

The soup arrives. You take a big round spoon, gently dip it and skim a few cms. of the soup from the top and noiselessly sip. Then nod your head in appreciation and compliment the cook. The waiter conveys this msg to the chef who gets happy and ensures that extra personal supervision for all your dishes.

You DO NOT immediately reach out for the salt shaker and sprinkle a generous layer. It will insult the chef and the rest of your meal can turn into disaster!

I remember my younger days when 8 of our family & relatives piled into our small Maruti 800 and went out to dine.

Soup came, and all of us reached out for salt and pepper instantly. After vigorous shakings a layer of white spread on the blood red tomato soup and then, pepper powder on top. Then some energetic stirring before the concoction was quickly slurped until the last drop!

If it was sweet corn or hot and sweet or any other Chinese, then a generous dollop of soya sauce from the thin tall bottle and a spoon full of the chili sauce as well.

You do that in any French restaurant or in a Shanghai 5-Star, and you could be debarred entry for life!

Then there is this story of Isaac Newton who would take his potential research candidates to a nearby restaurant and order soup. If the candidate reaches out for salt first, he would be rejected. You see, Newton strongly advocated observation and testing! You must taste your soup first before deciding on salt.

Back to our gourmet meal.

Starters next, on a fresh set of plates after the soup bowl is cleared. Accompanied by small tiny porcelain cups for the dips.

Then poultry or fish with white sauce and white wine. Again, on new set of plates and we use the next set of shining fork & knife. Pin a corner of the meat with the fork on your left hand and carve out a small piece with the knife on the right and eat. And repeat this process. Once finished, wash it down with wine. You must rinse your mouth with wine or water every-time you get ready for the next course. Sort of deep cleaning process to ensure your taste buds are reset (a biological ctrl/alt/del)

And then main course and so on. Note: you DO NOT use the spoon throughout the meal. It is only for the soup at the start and for the dessert when you use the spoon to scoop out the vanilla ice-cream & the plum pudding and the caramel custard with jelly on top! Everything else is eaten with a knife and fork. And you DO NOT use the knife as a shovel to scoop up rice, peas and corn!

And if you get noodles or spaghetti, then with spoon in your left hand, scoop the noodles with your fork, place its tips inside the spoon’s curvature and twirl the fork. The noodles with wrap around the fork and you gently guide it into your mouth.

You DO NOT plunge the fork into the large generous pile, lift it above your head and eat your way from the bottom dangling end of the noodle strings!

Back to our Sadhya..

I am sitting on my chair, banana leaf in front and waiting eagerly for the food train to come.  The wider end of the banana leaf is on my right-hand side making it easier to take the side dishes and mix it with rice and eat. Left end is for less frequently approached items like pickles and chips and pappadams.

The food trains arrives.  A row of 6 servers march in, clutching food buckets with their left hand and ladle on right they dole out small helpings on every leaf with practiced precision and accuracy! Each dish lands perfectly on its designated spot on the B-leaf. 

The Banana grid will have :-

The side dishes >> Top half of the leaf, from right to left,  

The pickles, chips/fries and salt >>Top half left hand corner

Rice and Sambar, Rasam and other gooey fast flowing liquids >> Bottom half .

Poovam banana, pappadam etc >> Bottom half left.

(where was banana ??)

The sequence of servings :

Salt, pickle, inji curry first at top half left.  Then avial, thoran and other side dishes. Slowly the top half of the leaf is filled with different side dishes from right to left.

Very soon B-leaf is thickly populated with Upperi ( Banana Chips) Sharkara Varatti ( jaggery coated banana chunks),  Manga Curry, Elisheri, Pulissery, Kaalan, Olan, Pachadi (pineapple raita) Chenna Mezhkkupuratti, Parripu Curry!

Then comes Choru - white rice for the cautious & prudent ones and the big bulbous red rice for the regulars and the adventurous ones . Ghee on top, then  dal/parippu  then rice again, then, sambar, next rasam, pulissery, kalan and then payasam. Finally, more rice and morru (buttermilk)!

The present generation cooks have improvised these dishes to suit modern times, while retaining the original taste. These servings are much easier to manage on the B-leaf & eat without any tension.

I attack the tantalising spread with vigour. Pappadams, chips from my left hand and everything else with my right hand, I cleanout out each small mound one by one and making enough space for the refill round.

WOW!! My taste buds are on overdrive!

Sweet/ Extreme sweet/ sweet and sour/ tangy/ sour/ bland/ spicy/ soft/ spongy/ hard/ crisp/ brittle and every other combo one can think of! What a variety of tastes. I bet most fancy western chefs would never have dreamed of such flavors or taste and that all pervading aroma of virgin coconut oil!

I switch off my mental calorie meter and my cholesterol index monitor and go for those refill rounds with enthusiasm until I feel my belly bulging!

 And finally, the pradaman (?) and kadala payasam (dal kheer) is served in paper cups. I relish and have a second helping. (forget those glycaemic index charts.)

Back in the older days, except for a small variety of dishes that manage to retain their form and shape once they are placed on the B-leaf, most of the servings were free flowing & fast moving (literally) items.

I remember my very first Sadhya meal in a Cochin mess in the 70’s.

There were more than 20 dishes and each serving were huge. And once all the dishes were placed on the B-leaf they started socializing! The Elisheri and Puliseri got closely intimate. Kalan and Olan tightly bonded with each other.  The Pachadi made amorous advances at Inji curry while paripu curry, morru kachiyatha, sambhar got popular all over the leaf.

And very soon the well-planned B-leaf grid becomes a homogeneous well integrated & borderless society of delicacies.

And the integration took place within seconds – and in tune with the then famous ‘miley sur mera tumahara, to sur bane hamara’ background anthem!!

And while I am enjoying this premix of food, a big ladle of rasam breaches the rice dam and the hot rasam rushes along the smooth grooves of the B-leaf like hot lava. It quickly flows over the table edge on to my new white Veshti, my thighs & some other sensitive parts of the body.

The next few minutes were extremely challenging – me vs fluid dynamics. And you can guess who won.

This time it was great! No such deluge of sambars or rasams or morru and the serves were equally cautious.  Not a single spot of sambhar or rasam on my veshti!!

My belly is turgid and the tastes of inji curry and manga curry still linger in my mouth. I did not take the DIY paan supari offer.

And I would never miss another Sadhya anywhere anytime!

Krish..