The Gillette always wins! My experiments with growing a beard.

An observant eye in Sobha Palladian commented:

I once saw Venki with a luxuriant beard

And now I see Venki without it

Sad, isn't it ??

The Gillette ultimately won after all!!

Venki = Our most popular and respected Chief of Sobha Palladian. He also double hats as the Secretary of the SPOA Management Committee.

At a dominating 54% global market share (which was at 70% in 2010) P&G’s Gillette is ruthless.

And Venki’s beard had no chance at all!

My experiments with growing a beard…

Ours is a very conservative middle class South Indian family .
And all men have been clean shaven – since generations ..
Probably ever since our early ancestors managed to chop off their beard with a well sharpened stone axe !
So, mustache, beard, french beard and even side-burns have been a taboo !

And to my grand dad, early morning shave was as serious a ritual as performing  his surya namaskaram and morning poojas.

While he took cold water bath, his shaving cup had to be filled with piping hot water.

And he would squat on the floor ceremoniously, a small stool in front held the mirror and the hot water and the dark brown & black haired brush with a wooden handle, Godrej shaving round  and a Gillette shaving razor and a pack of Wilkinson safety blades (7 O’ Clock and Topaz being the other brands). 

You turn the bottom end of the razor handle and the top opens up. And you carefully place the blade in between and close. You could also adjust the shaving angle by setting the calibrated band at the neck.

Grand dad would shave methodically, clean up all the spills with his Malayalam thundu (towel), wipe the edge of the blade carefully and wrap it back in its butter paper cover and then the main cover. He would then add a notch on the edge of the cover paper to record the number of shaves completed.

Once the life of the blade was over he would clean and wipe the blade again and then split into two and give it to us for sharpening our pencils!.

I am the only non conformist in our family and I demonstrated my lack of respect for such tradition right from the time a couple of hair strands started appearing on my chin…
A sad looking goatee in my teens, a healthier mustache in college and a smart beard during my post grad days amply demonstrated the rebellion in me.

However after taking up a serious job and getting married later on, all of this disappeared (including the rebellion part). 

A mustache though remained for a long time and at times it was luxuriant enough to challenge Graham Gooch, OBE ( the famous English cricketer ! )

And I tried many times to regrow a beard, over the past many years, but never could succeed. Too much family pressure and job related challenges guaranteed infant mortality to all my initiatives . Each time, my beard growth strategy survived between 15 days to max of 60 days before it got guillotined by the Gillette !!

You cannot imagine the pressure and the emotional blackmail that I go thru each time. And sadly I do not have a fair, handsome and ‘Raymond Man’ type of personality. So an unshaven cheek makes me look real dukhi (sickly). And sometimes I felt it too!

First week people look at you suspiciously.

Once after a weekend of growth, on a Monday morning, I walk in to the office and my boss thinks I have still not recovered from the TGIF hangover and suggests, “would you like to take the day off, Krish?”.

“No, thanks Ravi, I am trying to grow  a beard”, I answer.

My admin assistant is extra nice. She walks in with a cup of coffee for me and asks, “how are you feeling?” and I reply, “Perfect, Vandana! lets get down to business, shall we?”

At home, after a week of steady growth, my family cannot stand it any more.

After a few polite requests they declare war. The silent treatment, the banters, the sarcastic remarks, ‘ Today is jumma (Friday), aren't you going to the masjid??’, ‘Did you get that call from Dawood?’, and those off handed comments  and many subtle insults get heaped on me.

My grand mom is the worst affected and makes a desperate appeal . Krishna, this is all not right. We are not supposed to keep beard in our family, also we have old people at home and keeping a beard is inauspicious. It signifies a bereavement in our family (on such occasions pious Brahmans do not shave for 10 days until the final shradh).

And visitors and relatives are the worst.

Many even thought that I was recovering from some serious illness and offered sympathetic nod.

They would politely ask, “have your recovered ?” & “would you like to go back and rest”

One uncle from Chennai even ventured to diagnose my illness when  he asked “ Jaandissaaa??” (do you have Jaundice??)

Surviving the first 2 weeks is a challenge and life gets a little better after.

And I hit pay dirt once. This single act made all my miseries worthwhile. (pay dirt = unexpected bonanza, reward)

During one of my morning walks, I took one of the routes that pass by a busy bus stand. As I approached a group of early travelers, I noticed a distinguished looking old man in spotless white kurta, a white flowing beard and wearing an embroidered taqiyah ( Muslim cap ) . And I got nearer, our eyes met and he instantly pronounced “Salam Aleikum”. He had assumed I was one of Allah’s faithfuls too.
Pleasantly surprised, I returned back the greetings,  'As-Salaamu 'Alaykum wa Rahmatullah (Peace and Allâh's Mercy be on you).' and added ‘aapka safr acha guzare’ .

Ad that kept me high for a couple of days.

Until…

I had to make a trip to the US to present the India Initiative Plan to the Senior & Exec VPs.

And I chickened out.

And my Gillette had the last laugh!

The Gillette always wins!!

Krish..

The Mirage 2000H Tragedy

The Crash :

A Mirage 2000H (H for Hindustan) trainer jet crashed at HAL Airport in Bangalore on 1 Feb killing 2 young pilots - Squadron leaders Samir Abrol and Siddharth Negi . 

It was shocking and traumatic, especially for some of us folks in Sobha Palladian who heard the explosion as their  jet burst into flames. And many of us saw the leaping orange flames and the black billowing smoke  that continued to spread across the sky for over 20 minutes. And we saw two huge fire-engines  rush out of the HAL gates , helicopters hovering above and ambulances  screaming past our gates.

I could not sleep properly that night as I could not stop recollecting the days incidents and imagining what those two young pilot would have gone thru during those final moments of the crash.

And  all of the next day, I was sort of depressed and unsettled and sad – as if I had lost one of my dearest friends.

On the day of the crash, my WhatsApp as inundated with messages, photos and commentaries and comments on the crash. The TV and the on line media did their bit of comprehensive reporting. And I went thru them all, feeling sadder. 

The next day the papers covered the incident in more graphic details and quotes from ex servicemen  and the online media had added more footage of the crash. And I read these too and got sadder still.

During  my morning walk I could not enjoy my music and had to shut it off and walk in silence.

And I was in alignment with the  a huge sympathy wave for the two pilots and people expressed their grief and anguish at the sad demise and prayed for their souls and for their family as well. A tragic end to two brave hearts.

And along with this I also read the endless stream of accusations heaped on HAL for their shoddy jobs, their lack of accountability and for being an inefficient and callous organisation that has scant disregard for the air force pilots. And even the Air Chief Marshal B S  Dhanoa said "We have made concessions for HAL, but will the enemy make any concession for us when we face them in battle?"

And every one on the Whats app, Twitter and FB were unanimous!

HAL was the culprit and they passed the judgement –

HAL were solely responsible for this crash and the untimely death of two brave hearts Sqd Leader Abrol and Sqd Leader Negi.

Two days later everything was back to normal. And people went back to sharing and forwarding unwanted messages, pictures and videos &  jokes on their WhatsApp.

And I wondered, is that all ?? 

As self righteous citizens we concluded that have done our bit.

We expressed outrage over the crash.

We praised and prayed for the two dead plots. We used wonderful words , called them heroes & martyrs etc.

We showered sympathy on their families

We identified & pointed out the villain, HAL.

And we accused and passed our collective judgement on HAL !

And after our job well done, we moved on.

And we left the rest of  the inquiry and investigation to the concerned authorities and went about our business as usual.

Ashtey!

And I wondered , is that all ??

To me, even after so many days, life is not as usual.  Every time I walk by the HAL boundary wall  to buy at Capitol hyper-market, or hear the roar of the revving engines and the fighter jets taking off and landing after their sorties, I feel an uneasy sensation in my spine. So what do I do ??

Sadly, I am not a hot shot investigative reporter who could snoop around, talk to people and catch them off guard and dig up the dirt and come up with a front page expose nailing the culprits.

Nor am I a crusader, fighting for justice for the two bereaved families, filing PILs and RTIs and leading dharnas.

So in my limited capacity I went thru all the info available on the net, on the DefenceNews sites on the Mirage2000 deal.

And I actually came up with more questions than answers !!

Whose fault is it anyway ?

25 years ago, I headed the support division of an IT company that manufactured and sold hardware & software products  and delivered hardware devices and software support. And with a fine-tuned spare parts  inventory management and logistics  operation, a remote diagnostics team, and on-site hardware and software specialists we managed to deliver premium services guaranteeing 99% up-time on large computer installations, mainframes, network infrastructure and high end workstations installed country wide.

And I learnt the basics of support delivery and fault diagnosis. We would analyse tons of data on incidents of failure and draw the famous Pareto Charts !

And I concluded that causes for breakdowns can be broadly classified under 3 categories – faulty product, faulty people, faulty processes and a combination of these..

Faulty Product??

  

Was the crash caused due to substandard component/assembly supplied by the OEMs?

Or was it due to these assemblies/components getting worn out much before their rated flying lifetime. Or any other similar reasons related to the aircraft itself (its age and end of life)??

Faulty People?? 

Was the crash caused due to the faulty workmanship by the HAL staff – carelessness or improper training or whatever? Or was it the Pilots’ error??

Faulty Processes?? 

Was the crash caused due to faulty repair and QC and certification processes?? How could the QC team clear this craft for a flight if it had a such a major fault that could lead to a fatal crash? Or how could the HAL’s own test pilots fly  2 sorties in this same aircraft and not be able to detect or predict such a major fault that could lead to a fatal crash??

And remember,

One two-seat trainer crashed on 25 February 2012.

Another two-seater crashed on 5 March 2012.^[38] 

And the people in the Air force and HAL did not learn enough to prevent another similar disaster.

Sadly on 1 February 2019, a third two-seat trainer crashed and killed two pilots. A colossal waste of Rs 300+ Crores and two precious lives!

Act of God??

There are many times when certain incidents just defy logical reasoning.

1 Feb Friday 10.30 AM to 12 noon was Rahukalam!!

Rahukaalam or the period of Rahu is a certain period of time every day that is considered inauspicious for any new venture according to Indian Vedic astrology . – Wiki.

And I am sure any ‘Jyotishi’ (astrologer) worth his salt would be able to backtrack the events, read the horoscopes of the two pilots and match it with the stellar configuration at the time of take off and declare that this had to happen!

And he would have pronounced: It was a bad muhurat for them– a yamagandam. And if the pilots  had  pre-poned their take off by 15 min, the disaster could have been avoided .

So whose fault is it anyway??

The Product: Miarge 2000H:

The Dassault Mirage 2000 is a French multi role, single-engine fourth-generation jet fighter manufactured by Dassault  Aviation. It was designed in the late 1970s as a lightweight fighter to replace the Mirage III for the French Air Force(Armée de l'Air). 

A total of 601 crafts were made during its lifetime production from 1978 to 2007.

India purchased around 50 of these at Rs 133 Crores apiece.

The last 10 were delivered in 2007. 

This was the last batch of  Mirage2000s before the  production line was closed down!

Question: Why would any responsible person  buy such a hi-tech and expensive hardware in its end of life period??

And within 5 years, why would anyone sign up an upgrade deal for these at Rs 167 crores a piece (original cost 133 crores!)?

Chk it out on TOI March 5, 2013  news clip.
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/articleshow/18804336.cms?utm_source=contentofinterest&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=cppst

More questions later…

Krish..

The Governor & The Mogul

I grew up reading Enid Blyton’s Famous Five and Secret Sevens & Malory Towers. And Edgar Rice Burrough’s Tarzan series. And Biggles and World War II comics. 

And Chandmama, Champak and Chacha Choudhury and Vikram aur Betaal series.

And Suppandi and Tenali Raman and tons of Indrajal Comics & ACKs ( Amar Chitra Katha).

And at home we subscribed to Illustrated Weekly of India, Junior Statesman, Reader’s Digest and we borrowed Sports Star & Sports Week from neighbors. And we also peeked into Mom’s Femina  and Eve’s Weekly.  

And I also read a couple of Denise Robins and Danielle Steel mushy love stories from my sisters’ collection.

When we went for a haircut we read the Screen and the Stardust while we waited our turns.

And on Sunday Indian Express (Sunday Standard) we read comic strips -  Bringing up Father, Phantom, Calamity Jane and Sad Sack and Dennis the Menace and Lone Ranger– while dad and mom focused on the cryptic crossword.

Our cupboards were stacked with piles of dogeared second hand Nation Geographics, Spectrum, Scientific American and Archies Digest.

And slowly we graduated into reading Perry Mason, Agatha Christie, James Hadley Chase. And the all time favorite James Bond series by Ian Fleming!!

And then Sidney Sheldon  and Alistair MacLean and Leon Uris (remember Mila 18?) and James Clavell (Shogun??).  PG Wodehouse and Tom Sharpe came later.

And we swung to western novels – Sudden by Oliver Strange, Louis L’amour and Zane Grey and JT Edson and Max Brand.

And along the way came Somerset Maugham, Daphne Du Maurier’s Rebecca and the classics – HG Wells, Jules Verne, Thomas Hardy, Bronte sisters and many many more.

And some Sci-fi from Arthur C. Clarke and Isaac Asimov.

And we eagerly lapped up every new issue of Gladrags that hit the stands. Remember the glossy full pages and centre spreads of Lisa Ray in her (skimpy) bikini?? And later graduated to Cosmopolitan. And I will leave some other magazines in this genre to your experience & imagination.

And we learnt about the complexities in Chiristianity from Dan Browne series. And court trials from John Grisham, medical thrillers by Robin cook, on horses by Dick Francis.

And Mario Puzo, Michael Chricton and Tom Clancy and Jeffery Arthur, Lee Child, Ayn Rand and more and more. And I seriously avoided the likes of Fritjof Capra and Milan Kundera and Edgar Allan Poe.

But sadly, I did not read many Indian authors.

In my younger days I remember reading only Khushwant Singh and RK Laxman and a few English translaton of Indian stories. And later, Ruskin Bond who I thought was English.

I liked Khushwant Singh – his stories, his writing style, his bawdy  jokes, his attitude and the unadulterated vulgarity in some of his writings!!!

Somehow other Indian authors missed my radar for  a long time.

And much later I read the Inscrutable Americans, Once upon a Raj, and other Indian Authors including Chetan Bhagat, Shobhaa De, Arundhati Roy, Devdutt Pattanaik and Ashok Banker.

And I got seriously sold on Indian authors after I read Meluha and the trilogy by Amish Tripathi.  A few more wonderful books followed – Asura,The Rosabal Line, The Mahabharata Secret and Govinda. And The White Tiger and The Family Matters.

Recently I got a surprise gift from my investment adviser -  Dont Tell The Governor by Ravi Subramanian.

A wonderful story (fiction of course) beautifully weaved around real life incidents and recent happenings in India

Yes, you may have guessed it right – the RBI Governor plays the main role, the Finance Minister must surely have a part as well. The Prime Minister walks in at the critical time. And there is someone not exactly a villain and a starlet included to give the story some glamour and oomph!!

And the plot thickens as we read. Special effects are manufactured with the Khandahar hijacking of IA plane and the grand finale leads to the Demonetization of the Rs 1000/- notes and other currencies.

A sad ending though, unlike our typical Hindi movies where they all live happily ever after.

How do you like that??

And as you read you cannot ignore drawing parallels and  imagining real life folks we have seen so often in the  media and YouTube.

If you wish to start/restart reading English fiction, this is a good book that will keep you engrossed until the last page!

I had bought the Kindle version since I am unable to read the print version.

So very soon, the intelligent Amazon app recommended me ‘The Mogul’ by Vish Dhamija.

This one is more like John Grisham with plenty of court room scenes, a double murder and a ‘who-done-it’ mystery.

And if you have read many crime & mystery thrillers, it will not be difficult for you to accurately guess who the guilty one could be.

Vish does a great job in drawing out the character of The Mogul – a wealthy Business magnate in Amchi Mumbai. Other characters are equally intense and their feelings and attitudes are wonderfully brought out as they react to the various situations.

Vish’s writing is unique – in first person and the sections are short and gripping.

So here is another book to read when you are lazing out in the sun or when you are siting in the departure lounge waiting for your flight to get announced! I assure you that this book will be more interesting than going thru your Whats App and Mail messages!

And I am going to buy the next book Amazon recommends. Let me see if there is one written by a female author this time??

Krish..